A good friend, one you can let into your inmost self, is hard to find. This is the wisdom presented in the Old Testament from Sirach. A husband or wife who becomes one body should seek to be good friends if they are not already good friends before they are married. So, a discussion about good friends extends to married people, too. Jesus emphasizes this wisdom when the Pharisees ask, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”. Jesus clarified to his disciples that it was equivalent to adultery for either party to divorce. The church finds mitigating circumstances to allow annulment by establishing that a sacramental marriage never existed. So, they call this an annulment and not a divorce. And between good friends, I suppose it can be called a betrayal.

Any person considering marriage should be looking for someone who treats them as well as they treat themselves. In Sirach, he says, that is one in a thousand. This translation says to test them; other translations say to prove them. I do not believe you need to set up a test. Life throws enough circumstances at friends that they can begin to ascertain the strength of a friendship. The friend must sometimes give up their desires for the good of the friendship. Even within ourselves, we give up on one desire in favor of a more worthy desire.

Saint Peter Julian Eymard wrote to the bishops, “Allow me to open my soul to you about an idea that I believe comes from God. But, distrusting my own weakness and the illusions of self-conceit, I need your wise counsel that I may act in accordance with the ordinary ways of divine Providence, that is, by obedience.” Are you willing to give up a goal for your commitments with God, your spouse, or the well-being of a good friend?

Let Us Pray:

Dear God, bless _____ and _____ on their anniversary. In their love for each other, they reveal your love to the world. Give them grace to live out their marriage covenant, provide them with strength when times are hard, and shower them with joy in the company of family and friends. Open their eyes to the gifts you have given them in order to serve you by serving others. May they enjoy many more years together, growing closer to each other and to you. May they love and honor each other all the days of their lives, Amen. From An Anniversary Prayer, from the Catholic Faith Handbook for Youth