Many of us like to imagine being in close companionship with Jesus, not unlike Jesus’ disciples in Palestine. We imagine ourselves travelling with him as he goes from place to place. We are there when he heals the sick and cures the blind. We feel his pain and suffering. We listen attentively to his preaching and cheer when he defends the poor against the injustices of the oppressors. Oh, how things would have been different if only… And yet, every one of his “faithful” disciples did just that. They never left his side, except at the end when… Jesus was nailed to the cross and died. Are we so different, so special, really?

In our better moments, we realize that just being close to Jesus and claiming to be his disciple is not quite enough. Imagined closeness to Jesus is no guarantee for anything. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, who stood up to the Nazis during their invasion of Western Europe, called this cheap grace. The cost of discipleship, Bonhoeffer claimed, is steeper and more demanding than merely standing around and claiming to be Jesus’ “friend” because we hang around him so much. In the gospel of Saint Mark, the evangelist often complains that Jesus’ disciples did not understand. Are we so different? Really!

Saint Peter Julian Eymard, after a long personal spiritual journey, also learned this truth. His life-long search to establish physical thrones for Jesus Eucharistic and to call people to remain with him was not unlike the first disciples who believed that being physically close to Jesus would be enough. Saint Peter Julian was blessed with the grace of understanding that the cost of discipleship was an interior commitment and conversion. Let us pray for this grace of discipleship, and to remain faithful to the end in that interior journey to which we have all been called as disciples of Jesus Christ.

Prayer:

Lord, we ask you to bring us to a deeper understanding of discipleship. May your Spirit guide us on our journey inward, where you dwell in our hearts. Amen.